apotheosis

The word of the day is agape & I am writing from on bed of lofty thoughts; It is so easy to love, but much harder to do it well.



There is a skepsis in the notion of love proper, but when you stumble upon it, it is the verdant overgrowth of friendship. Compassion, admiration and not loving your own reflection someone else's eyes, but grateful for their existence, striving to their essence.

Very Nessessary

"The word of the day is soporific." - a cross between sleep and terrific, horrifically soporous...

The world equidistant-
the input to each sensory modality at the same degree of separation from the subjective experience-
the celestial bodies all orbiting in concentric circles of the same diameter, the focal point on a different plane of existence, despite being amidst it all.

Induce/Birth a visceral energy, an emotive response, to anything at all-
though no thing elicits any thing.

Follow a course through any route preset by another self-disclosing testimony of disconnection-
find failure in the forced efforts of others & the danger
of empty assurance in projecting the nothing into something, self-created, born from imagination.

When you rest still-
"let the chips fall where they may"
-there is still nothing. A chaos
in the silence. Fall to sleep
without pain, without grace,
without contentment or extacy,
nor blind acceptance-
but a resilient knowing that you
are of a lone privation.

Modernification of Words

Word History: The lowly kiosk where newspapers are sold or advertisements are posted is like a child in a fairy tale raised by humble parents but descended from kings. The word kiosk was originally taken into English from Turkish, in which its source köşk meant "pavilion." The open structures referred to by the Turkish word were used as summerhouses in Turkey and Persia. The first recorded use of kiosk in English (1625) refers to these Middle Eastern pavilions, which Europeans imitated in their own gardens and parks. In France and Belgium, where the Turkish word had also been borrowed, their word kiosque was applied to something lower on the scale, structures resembling these pavilions but used as places to sell newspapers or as bandstands. England borrowed this lowly structure from France and reborrowed the word, which is first recorded in 1865 with reference to a place where newspapers are sold.
- Dictionary.com

In our day and age, it seems like language is probably the aspect of life most taken for granted, next to family, central heating, and grocery stores. The evolution of language is an absolutely fascinating phenomenon: what words are appropriated into new forms, what words are (like google), how (and which) words make their way into the languages of other cultures but still retain the basic sound from their origin...

These are interesting things that the average person completely takes for granted. Another example, pointed out by a wonderfully blazed individual, was the cleverness of "Cheez-Its" which verbed a whole subcategory of dairy products as a marketing strategy that makes you feel active while you're eating a processed snack with high salt content.

Or take, "conversate," a word that pretends toward more formal language, but has actually made its way into the dictionary as slang, an appropriation of conversation instead of using plain old "converse" (which is already more formal than it would be to say "We talked" or "We spoke").

Who makes these rules? How many times does a word need to be spoken for it gain enough prestige to enter anything from Dictionary.com to Merriam-Webster? And when that word is entered, how does one definitively decide its spelling? How does this affect communication between generations?

special languages

we imbibe special languages,
all lost in the sauce, pseudonyms
and nick names align morphemes
into sonic synchrony, as a chorus
of frequencies coalesce in fractions
of consonants and vowels the angle
between an "a" and an "o" as in a whistle
mouth-made just for your best friend
who gets all of your pillow talk since your
peers pickled like preserved pork rinds
in the blistering surface of your cerebrum's
unforgiving neural loops as they rewind
over and over and over until there are only
levels of nonesense to engorge your staunch
second stomach. man, you will eat away
and never fill.

man, you incredible creature, fit with an art so sublime,
and yet you convolute its processes with the onslaught of time.

Form = Function

typical depiction of Mandy. all day every day!
:)

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please give a girl feedback on a distracting philisophizication

in limbo with the L word (& i dont mean lesbian)

there is something to be said for witholding the words that are dancing on the very tip of your tongue, longing to jump off and see if they will fly or fall. regardless of the consequences or expectations an assumptions, taking that leap keeps the mind just as restless as standing idly by while those words remain unspoken.

sometimes, those words want out so badly that they press up against your teeth and squeeze out in the form of insinuations (when you are genuine but unsure), passive aggression (when you are resentful of making the first move) or inuendos (when you are ingenuine but sure). it is cause for contemplation: (shoulds or should-nots put aside momentarily) it is an undeniably unnatural process for humans to 'come out with it' with intentions purely displayed, clearly stated, baring all with no hidden motives.

when one an individual capable of such a feat, it is no surprise that he or she would initially interpret these motions incorrectly, superimpose them on personal perspectives or inflate them with his or her own insecurities. if this individual is prone to excessive overanalyzing, it would also be no surprise that he or she would be very skeptical of the sincerity of this person. it is so easy to become intrigued by this self-inflicted mystery, though the answer is clear as day to the naive one, who takes everything for its face value. quite interesting that an excess of experience can result in just as much misinformation as a deficit of perception and understanding.

once this individual has internalized the sincerity of the motion(s), there are two essential ways to respond. ideally, one would respond in kind, with just as much straightforward virtuosity. but the more selfish route-coincidentally, also much more easy to fall into step with- yields a visceral disturbance in the heart of the beholder.

this can manifest in many ways, whether it be amplification of attraction or aversion, or a nebulous mix of the two. to run to or away from this perceived phenomenon might result in a change in the personal perception of the way the world works, but really it is all neither here nor there, when he or she has still failed to consider the "other side" as a self within itself.

so, where are we now?

"night is beauty" - kyle

i'll just show up for your tie tying
there are no loyalties in the game of knock hockey
i havent felt alive here for a long time, and you gave it back to me
id rather be played than play someone.
it's kinda funny because you can lose your car keys,
your cell phone, your wallet, but the thing
you walk around with all the time, yourself,
is really just the easiest thing to lose.

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