oh yes... and this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuGaqLT-gO4&feature=player_embedded

Draft

An Incubus


slipped into the bedroom well after

her catatonic blundering left

the thumbturn haphazardly horizontal, and

she, drained by drunken key-search fumbling,

left her wide yawn last to close

on the night. With the clanging noises

to gain entry blunting the edges of all

other sounds—the whine of hardwood

panels under pressure as they strain

against the nails that hold them

down—her ears are turned to inward

silencing.


Hypnogogia is off for the night, subdued

to the shadows by flesh-bone-blood—

no need to creep around the body out cold

and dreamless, stealth lost on the piss-drunk

girl, still vacuum-sealed in bar-sweaty

spandex.

She stirred, mumbled.

Still again, the intruder, treading the fine line

of grey-out amnesiac security, pushed

shadows from eyelashes across her

cheekbones like ink stains her mascara

made the morning after.

The sun slunk

in through hang-over inertia, and blistering

recollections leaked pus onto her pillow

as she sat up, the sleep-sand deserting

her eyes. The fragments reassembled

into a limbo somewhere between

dream and memory.

An incubus

came to bed last night.



^^ not a true ending. plus the indentations are all fucked as well as the linebreaks... yeah...

apotheosis

The word of the day is agape & I am writing from on bed of lofty thoughts; It is so easy to love, but much harder to do it well.



There is a skepsis in the notion of love proper, but when you stumble upon it, it is the verdant overgrowth of friendship. Compassion, admiration and not loving your own reflection someone else's eyes, but grateful for their existence, striving to their essence.

Very Nessessary

"The word of the day is soporific." - a cross between sleep and terrific, horrifically soporous...

The world equidistant-
the input to each sensory modality at the same degree of separation from the subjective experience-
the celestial bodies all orbiting in concentric circles of the same diameter, the focal point on a different plane of existence, despite being amidst it all.

Induce/Birth a visceral energy, an emotive response, to anything at all-
though no thing elicits any thing.

Follow a course through any route preset by another self-disclosing testimony of disconnection-
find failure in the forced efforts of others & the danger
of empty assurance in projecting the nothing into something, self-created, born from imagination.

When you rest still-
"let the chips fall where they may"
-there is still nothing. A chaos
in the silence. Fall to sleep
without pain, without grace,
without contentment or extacy,
nor blind acceptance-
but a resilient knowing that you
are of a lone privation.

Modernification of Words

Word History: The lowly kiosk where newspapers are sold or advertisements are posted is like a child in a fairy tale raised by humble parents but descended from kings. The word kiosk was originally taken into English from Turkish, in which its source köşk meant "pavilion." The open structures referred to by the Turkish word were used as summerhouses in Turkey and Persia. The first recorded use of kiosk in English (1625) refers to these Middle Eastern pavilions, which Europeans imitated in their own gardens and parks. In France and Belgium, where the Turkish word had also been borrowed, their word kiosque was applied to something lower on the scale, structures resembling these pavilions but used as places to sell newspapers or as bandstands. England borrowed this lowly structure from France and reborrowed the word, which is first recorded in 1865 with reference to a place where newspapers are sold.
- Dictionary.com

In our day and age, it seems like language is probably the aspect of life most taken for granted, next to family, central heating, and grocery stores. The evolution of language is an absolutely fascinating phenomenon: what words are appropriated into new forms, what words are (like google), how (and which) words make their way into the languages of other cultures but still retain the basic sound from their origin...

These are interesting things that the average person completely takes for granted. Another example, pointed out by a wonderfully blazed individual, was the cleverness of "Cheez-Its" which verbed a whole subcategory of dairy products as a marketing strategy that makes you feel active while you're eating a processed snack with high salt content.

Or take, "conversate," a word that pretends toward more formal language, but has actually made its way into the dictionary as slang, an appropriation of conversation instead of using plain old "converse" (which is already more formal than it would be to say "We talked" or "We spoke").

Who makes these rules? How many times does a word need to be spoken for it gain enough prestige to enter anything from Dictionary.com to Merriam-Webster? And when that word is entered, how does one definitively decide its spelling? How does this affect communication between generations?

special languages

we imbibe special languages,
all lost in the sauce, pseudonyms
and nick names align morphemes
into sonic synchrony, as a chorus
of frequencies coalesce in fractions
of consonants and vowels the angle
between an "a" and an "o" as in a whistle
mouth-made just for your best friend
who gets all of your pillow talk since your
peers pickled like preserved pork rinds
in the blistering surface of your cerebrum's
unforgiving neural loops as they rewind
over and over and over until there are only
levels of nonesense to engorge your staunch
second stomach. man, you will eat away
and never fill.

man, you incredible creature, fit with an art so sublime,
and yet you convolute its processes with the onslaught of time.

Form = Function

typical depiction of Mandy. all day every day!
:)

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please give a girl feedback on a distracting philisophizication

in limbo with the L word (& i dont mean lesbian)

there is something to be said for witholding the words that are dancing on the very tip of your tongue, longing to jump off and see if they will fly or fall. regardless of the consequences or expectations an assumptions, taking that leap keeps the mind just as restless as standing idly by while those words remain unspoken.

sometimes, those words want out so badly that they press up against your teeth and squeeze out in the form of insinuations (when you are genuine but unsure), passive aggression (when you are resentful of making the first move) or inuendos (when you are ingenuine but sure). it is cause for contemplation: (shoulds or should-nots put aside momentarily) it is an undeniably unnatural process for humans to 'come out with it' with intentions purely displayed, clearly stated, baring all with no hidden motives.

when one an individual capable of such a feat, it is no surprise that he or she would initially interpret these motions incorrectly, superimpose them on personal perspectives or inflate them with his or her own insecurities. if this individual is prone to excessive overanalyzing, it would also be no surprise that he or she would be very skeptical of the sincerity of this person. it is so easy to become intrigued by this self-inflicted mystery, though the answer is clear as day to the naive one, who takes everything for its face value. quite interesting that an excess of experience can result in just as much misinformation as a deficit of perception and understanding.

once this individual has internalized the sincerity of the motion(s), there are two essential ways to respond. ideally, one would respond in kind, with just as much straightforward virtuosity. but the more selfish route-coincidentally, also much more easy to fall into step with- yields a visceral disturbance in the heart of the beholder.

this can manifest in many ways, whether it be amplification of attraction or aversion, or a nebulous mix of the two. to run to or away from this perceived phenomenon might result in a change in the personal perception of the way the world works, but really it is all neither here nor there, when he or she has still failed to consider the "other side" as a self within itself.

so, where are we now?

"night is beauty" - kyle

i'll just show up for your tie tying
there are no loyalties in the game of knock hockey
i havent felt alive here for a long time, and you gave it back to me
id rather be played than play someone.
it's kinda funny because you can lose your car keys,
your cell phone, your wallet, but the thing
you walk around with all the time, yourself,
is really just the easiest thing to lose.

foot massage 69

Colossal Oreo

:)

Hello!

girl crushes rule!

Aside from the two trainings I've had for work, it's been same old. Yesterday I had to renew my CPR certification and get my first aid certification. I thought the training started at 10am but it actually started at 8, so I got woken up at 8.20 by my boss calling. Luckily I wasn't really in trouble (and I wasn't the last one to get there) and I didn't miss anything. I'm damn proud of myself too, because I arrived there at around 8.40, and a considerable amount of that time was spent driving there. I had chik-fil-a for my first time ever during lunch hour; a bunch of us went there and I got a kids meal.

I've been loving the weather we've been having the past week or so. Scattered storms. Yummy.

Dave's Graduation Party

Since I am in the middle of studying for my Anatomy class, I will recall specific incidents that you will find hillarious:

- Shaun = big, and I'm retarded and like soft things, therefore, Shaun + Mandy = Lenny

- I hugged Dave's mom and thanked her for producing Dave. She then proceeded to try to set me up with Dave's younger brother.

- Shaun, Jay, Damien and Edward pelted Pat with watermelon slices while I recorded it on my new phone. Sadly, as I am Lenny, I also happened to fail at life and didn't save the video.

- Pat made me pee myself. I don't remember why.

- I got a girlcrush on this chick in my Anatomy class. Yeah, it's weird. Judge me.

That's all I can remember for now. Anyway, listen to the song fake palendroms by andrew bird. Crack will be your middle name. Shit THAT'S what you have to name your kid. Crack Ness. Hahahaha awesome.

Last night it stormed like no one's business. The lightning was violent and as frequent as a strobe light, and the thunder would crack almost instantly. It rained in sheets. I loved it.

Anyway, my summer has been pretty okay, and a little boring. I have my first day of training for work on saturday, and it'll be nearly a twelve-hour event-thing. I don't know exactly what that's all about. I have about six seperate training days and I start work on the 22nd.

About a week ago I checked my grades for this past semester. As expected I did break my 4.0, but what frustrates me is that it was only just barely. All As except that astronomy class--in which I got a B+. That must have been some curve, I tell you. I'm glad that I did better than I thought I would, but at the same time I was so close to an A. Life goes on, whatever.

That's about as exciting as it gets for now. I'm hoping that once work starts, maybe interesting things will occur/be said.

Oh yeah, and the layout of this blog is AWESOME. I'm totally in love with it. Also, I'm digging the music completely. And yes, I do enjoy the cover of your keystone project.

p.s. I finally got a webcam for cheap, and downloaded skype. I haven't really used it much yet though.

That's all.

The Beginning of Something Great

To my favorite copilot:

I am writing this during my second day of summer classes, and I hope you are glad to hear that I am, as always, forever off-task. I'm glad to see you have become a co-author as well as a co-pilot. How is life treating you? I'm only nearly finished with the baggage of last semester--I even got an incomplete! It doesn't seem like I'll be keeping up my compulsively acheived 3.9. so concerned with that 100s place decimal, thinkin somebody way up in the high ranks can round up for me. But you might be excited about this. I decided on my cover page for my Keystone Project. And... me thinks you shall ADORE it.


That's really all the cool shit I could think of to share right now. Ps- i did end up having a date with molly and no lie, "boy" fucked me over because molly was not who he said she was. i ended up breaking out real bad. i think she had some special K in her. TOTAL blown face. So in the end, I'm really glad i didn't put her in your life, cuz your first experience with that girl should be a wild fantastic joy ride.

Anyway, I hope you like our Necessary Taco Talk blog. I can change anything if you want, just let me know. And I hope this is a good start to a wonderful thing =P.

-Gypsy